Yes, an actual physical diary. That I use my hands and a pen to fill page after page with my tiny handwriting about what I did today (because I will forget tomorrow) and how I felt about what I did and to make tons of little mistakes that I can't fix for good.
It looks like this:
(by the way, I'm a big fan of Tokidoki, hence the thumbs-up. Duh.)
I stole this from Dave Gunn's LJ. I hope he doesn't mind.
Will you answer every question honestly? I have no reason to otherwise.
Have you ever stayed up all night while drunk or high? I've stayed up high on life. Does that count? Y/N
Do you miss anything or anyone? The person I will always miss most should be arriving at my house in about 15 minutes.
The person who I miss currently is entirely too far away and won't be home for a while. When he comes back, I'm smothering him in hugs and kisses.
What makes you laugh no matter what? Mary. Really really. Even when we are fighting. When she's not here, I love every single person who has ever been in Monty Python's Flying Circus.
Who was the last person you talked to? Either Mary or David F., via text. Chris Cope on the phone, Mommy in real life, and Zeke on AIM.
What do you dislike at the moment? I am known for only honestly, deeply and personally hating three people in this world (Victoria Baccini, Queenie, and that kid Chris from Michigan.)
As for disliking, I dislike everyone I went to camp with.
Do you think it is bad to have sex at your age? I am of the stoic opinion that there is no "right age" for sex to be acceptable. So, no. I think sex is wonderful<333>Will you get married? If I can find a man or woman who is totally okay with me being a porn star, doing the dishes topless, throwing up after I eat, and dying when I'm 30, then please point me in their direction.
Will you be doing drugs in the near future? Of course, I'm going to be doing several lines of cocaine at about 3:00. Care to join me?
(jay kay.)
Do you lie about your age? Only to get in to shows at Johnny Brenda's.
Are you happy with yourself? Absolutely not, to the point where it is comical.
Would you change anything in your past? Yeah. I would have never suggested to Maura that we go and steal food at Whole Foods that day.
When did you last cry? Today. I hadn't mixed the wasabi in with the soy sauce well enough and I downed a big glob of straight wasabi. It was refreshing, but it made me teary.
Do you believe in religion? It exists, but I have no faith in it.
Has a guy ever seriously punched you more than once? Punched me? No. Beat me? Yes.
Have you done bad things with your parents near by? Define "bad".
Have you started a horrible rumor about somebody? I tried, but I'm a horrible liar.
Have you ever been too drunk to remember a certain night? No, but I've been so tired to the point where I felt inebriated and I couldn't distinguish whether certain points were real or dreams.
Do you think your future will be a good one? I have dreams...
Do you think you were raised well? I was raised collectively by myself and the people I liked enough to hold on to. So, yeah. I guess.
Do you have a secret that you've never told ANYONE? I have insane fantasies about sleeping with Chris, the guy who rents the apartment in the building my grandparents own.
How would you spend your last day alive? I would pull a Thelma And Louise and shoot cops while driving off of a cliff with my better half.
Do you hide things well or do you have a guilty conscience? It depends on the circumstance. For the most part, I feel guilty about everything I do. Even existing.
If your parents got divorced and you had to pick mom or dad to live with? My parents DID get divorced when I was about 4 and they have had joint custody over my (full blood) brother and I ever since.
Think you could ever forgive someone who murdered your family member? No, unless it was Aunt Linda. Seriously. If you knew her, you'd understand.
Do you think you know the meaning of love? Love is the name of my severed hand that I keep in a jar of formaldehyde next to my bed. I don't know what it means.
What’s the most important thing in a relationship in your opinion? If I relationships were my thing, I'd really like honesty. That'd be pretty cool.
If your parents didn't like the person you were dating, would you lose them? That's an asshole move.
Do you spend time with the same people always? I have a large network of friends, a lot of whom don't even know each other. So, it kinda varies.
Do you think best friends can be replaced? Not my best friend. No one ever comes close.
When is the last time you were truly happy with your life? Who knows?
Where was your default myspace picture taken? In my room, right before the Xiu Xiu gig <3333>Do you think long distance relationships are ever really worth it? No.
What is your favorite color? Off-lime green. Black. Pink. Aqua.
What do you do when you have a bad day? I listen to "With A Hip" by Echo and The Bunnymen repeatedly, masturbate, then fall asleep.
Do you really think exes can be friends? It's happened a lot with me, yeah.
Who messaged you last? Lievvvv!!! My little buddy who used to ride the back of the bus with me. Because that's where the cool kids sat.
When was the last time you told someone you loved them? I told David F. I loved him for being my wake-up call every morning. And I mean it, as a friend.
If you could pack up and leave your life now to move away, would you? Without a doubt.
Do you fall for people easily? Sometimes. I get friend-crushes on people a lot.
Are you quick to start a fight? No, but I probably do it more than I think.
Do your parents really know YOU? My dad forgets how old I am from time to time, and my mom knows so little about me sometimes I need to quiz her regularly to keep her in check.
Lyrics stuck in your head? "And I'm the one that sat at your capture, let the snow fall on this whispering rapture, and you're the one who's kissing your captor's hand" - from Upon Your Leopard, Upon The End Of Your Feral Days by Sunset Rubdown
Are you tired? Surprisingly no
What curse word do you use the most? Fuck.
Do you ever take medication to help you fall asleep? I like vanilla flavored Tylenol PM
When was the last time you had Starbucks? Jinx and I sat in one for an extended period of time waiting for Maggiewren a few days ago, yet we didn't patronize them. Does that count?
Do you think people talk behind your back? More than likely.
Is anyone in love with you? How would I know?
Ever cry in public? Yeah. It was pretty lame.
Do you use sarcasm? Of course not, obviously.
Do you get along better with the same sex or opposite? Opposite, because you can have sex with them and make them like you immediately.
Do you watch the news? Sometimes it comes on at the gym.
Who was the last person to make you mad? Probably my mom, for no reason.
Do you ever wonder what your ex is up to? Which one?
Have you ever been given roses? Yeah. From some random girl when I was waiting for the R6 and had just missed the train and had to wait an hour. It made me smile inside.
Had a long distance relationship? Several, unfortunately. I was young and stupid.
Do you believe in this saying: "What goes around comes around"? Life is too unfair to work that way.
Do you want to get married? Not particularly.
How many kids do you want to have? Probably none, but I would like a job naming children, because there needs to be a child named Jello Biafra and there needs to be one now.
Mary's on her way, so i'm gonna go psyche myself up for that.
Love <3
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