Self-improvement addict's corner

I'm starting a juice fast today in an attempt to kick my food addiction.
I made a commitment about a week ago that I would go to the gym every day for 20 days, enough to get in better shape than i am now. It's working, i went back up to an 8 when I stopped purging and restricting for good, but i'm back down to a 7, almost a 6.
I'll be honest, I've slipped up a bit on purging and starving, as Liv is my new diet buddy and I feel somewhat like I won't be good enough if I don't purge or only eat two things a day. Not that she makes me feel that way, it's my stupid mind and the way it works.

I apologized to all those I have wronged, mainly Zeke, Emanuela, and Jesse.
I went over to Zeke's the other day to get my stuff. The original intent was an angry visit in which Liv and her boyfriend Nick offered to join and beat him up (not my idea!) but instead, I apologized and ended the drama. When I left, he hugged me, which was kind of nice. It was an awkward business hug, but a hug nonetheless.
I realized that I had been using the great undoer ("but") a lot after apologizing, and I realized it wasn't beneficial to my cause. So I beat my pride and apologized for everything. To everyone.

I've been spending a lot of time with the paternal side of my family lately. I mean, not as much as I used to, but still, it's nice. I don't feel awkward there anymore, as I did the first two times I went back. This is progress.

I'm continuously building a new life for myself. I feel like I've cut myself off in certain ways, but this is transition, and sacrifices must be made.
I am changed, this is true, and I think it's for the better.

I think back to where I was about 4 months ago. I was a wreck. I was uncouth, pants stained with vomit and my fingers smelling perpetually of bile and half-digested food, getting no sleep (as we had bedbugs), lashing out at everyone for no reason, and just simply hating life as it were.
I've stopped talking about my ED so much, if at all. I used it as an apology for still being fat, and I realized that I didn't care.

I am pushing myself hard, but it is the only way I will truly get better.