Dear world, why do you suck?

Hi. My name is Carla.
On October 10th(?)
Wire, one of my favorite bands, well, EVER is coming to Philly
for $20.00
AT MOTHERFUCKING JOHNNY BRENDA'S

Johnny Brenda's is a bar. I'm not 21. Fuck my life.
Anyone know of anyway to circumvent this inconvenience?
Because, ya know, I'd love to see them. Like, I would LOOOOOVVVVVEEEEE to see them.
I'll let you know how it goes.